National Democratic Convention Schedule and Agenda

Here’s a rough draft of the DNC national convention schedule for July 26th. Don’t forget to set your TiVo.

6:00 p.m.  Opening flag burning ceremony


6:00 p.m.  Opening secular prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton


6:30 p.m.  Anti-war concert by Barbra Striesand


6:40 p.m.  Ted Kennedy proposes a toast


7:00 p.m.  Tribute theme to France

7:10 p.m.  Collect offerings for al-Zawahir defense fund


7:25 p.m.  Tribute theme to Germany


7:45 p.m.  Anti-war rally moderated by Michael Moore


8:25 p.m.  Ted Kennedy proposes a toast


8:30 p.m.  Terrorist appeasement workshop


9:00 p.m.  Gay marriage ceremony (both male and female couples)


9:30 p.m.  Intermission

10:00 p.m.  Posting the Iraqi colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins


10:10 p.m.  Re-enactment of Kerry’s fake medal toss


10:20 p.m.  Cameo by Dean “Yeeeearrrrrrrg!”


10:30 p.m.  Abortion demonstration by N.A.R.A.L


10:40 p.m.  Ted Kennedy proposes a toast


10:50 p.m.  Pledge of allegiance to the UN


11:00 p.m.  Multiple gay marriage ceremony (threesomes, mixed same sex)


11:15 p.m.  Maximizing welfare workshop


11:30 p.m.  “Free Saddam” pep rally


11:59 p.m.  Ted Kennedy proposes a toast


12:00 p.m.  Nomination of Democratic candidate

Any chance we could get Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home from the convention ?