Top Ten John Kerry Excuses

From the Late Show with David Letterman:

10. Voters were in a fever-induced haze because     they couldn't get flu shots.


9.  Floridians confused by shockingly unconfusing    ballots.

8.  Maybe it wasn't best idea to begin speeches    with "yo mama is so fat" jokes.

7.  The endorsement from Osama Bin Laden didn't    exactly help him.

6.  "Dude -- it's the Curse of the Bambino."

5.  Should've campaigned more in New Mexico,    less in regular Mexico.

4.  Turns out voters think it's hot that Cheney    has a lesbian daughter.

3.  Thought America was ready for a lunatic    First Lady.

2.  Voters seem to really like a weak economy    and a badly-run war.

1.  Was distracted by late night erotic phone    calls from Bill O'Reilly.