This is so funny, I just had to post the whole thing here.

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and
says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that
your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery
is enough.”

“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the
old man says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of
talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and
tell her.”

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the
phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts,
“I’ll take care of this.” She calls Phoenix immediately, and
screams at the old man, “You are not getting divorced. Don’t
do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother
back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do
anything, do you hear me?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
“Okay,” he says, “They’re both coming for the holidays and
paying their own fare”

Thanks to the Daily Funnies.